Some relief!

Less than two hours left of this badly thought out babysitting gig I agreed to (see below post). Thankfully, I had a small reprieve yesterday afternoon when my fiancee made the two hour trek to come spend the evening with us - giving me time to take a well needed shower while he taught the girls how to make an antipasti salad!

I'm sucking down coffee as I await their arrival so that I will be able to stay awake for the drive home. Lots of coffee as it is a very dark and very long drive. But well worth it as I will be able to sleep past 6am tomorrow morning in my own bed and awake only to the sound of absolute quiet in my house!! Ahhhhhh....

Why???

I don’t know exactly possessed me to agree to watch my friends’ three children while she and her husband took their first vacation in 7 years to Mexico. I imagine it had something to do with the fact that she was my daughters after-school and overnight business trip babysitter while I was insanely trying to prove myself to the powers-that-be in my corporate job that I could truly be a single mom and still work 16 hours a day and fly all over the country at a moment’s notice. More posts on that later, but for now I keep repeating in my head over and over “what the HELL was I thinking”????

Three girls, ages 7, 5 and 3 that seem to be both everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. Every 3 minutes I seem to have lost one and have to go hunting for the favorite hiding places. No amount of mommy blogs that I have read over the years has prepared me for this experience. I have known these kids since they were born, even babysat a few evenings to allow the parents some time to breath, but 9 days with three kids? Right now the house looks as if every box, cabinet, basket and drawer has opened up and barfed its contents everywhere. There is an entire tribe of stuffed animals that have been shoved underneath the couches and coffee tables. I tried to start removing them only to have all three girls begin yelling at me that the animals are NAPPING and I am not to disturb them.

I went to the laundry room to begin working on the 16 piles of dirty clothes and towels that have accumulated in only 7 days, and when I returned to the living room I found that in the 2.5 minutes it took me to start a load of wash, the kids had managed to open a bag of Chex Mix, crunch it up in their hands and scatter it all around the room. I had wondered why they had been laughing hysterically while I was gone. I’m not sure I even know where the vacuum cleaner is in this house. Everywhere I walk now I feel the crunch of snacks under my feet. I’m thinking about just letting the dog in the house to munch on the carnage.

My whole body hurts from helping them learn how to do cartwheels, lifting them up onto the swingset, twirling them around in the backyard, picking them up when they have a boo-boo or just need a little loving. I have syrup in my hair, dried pancake mix on my shirt and haven’t taken a shower in two days because by the time I get them in bed I am so exhausted that the most I can do is turn on the dishwasher and collapse into bed fully clothed (which reminds me, must wash the sheets before parents get home).

There is not enough coffee, Red Bull or Monster drinks in the world for me right now. No matter how many hours, sweat and stress I used to put into my corporate job, I have never been this tired in my life.

Is it bad of me that I got a tiny twinge of giggles when I realized that my friend and her husband had three days of hurricane weather in Cabo while I have been here? Hee Hee.

Counting Down

In 726 days, I will be 40 years old.

When I was 18 I didn't believe I would make it past 30 (which seemed so incredibly old at the time). Yet, I am still here, and seemingly at another crossroad in what has appeared an incessantly interrupted life. At 18 I had a plan, by the age of 22 that plan was interrupted by a surprise pregnancy and subsequent marriage to the father of the child. When my beautiful daughter was born I made another plan, which was then interrupted by a myriad of maritial issues. At 30, I split from the husband, moved to Arizona and began a new plan - and this one lasted almost 7 years. 7 long years of corporate ladder climbing with 10 hour work days and little time for anything outside of work. So I interrupted the plan by bowing gracefully out of the job, and creating my own company.

So, the new plan is in place - complete with shorter work hours, and a feeling of freedom that I have not experienced since I was still young and naive. Balancing that freeing feeling is the everpresent cloud of financial doom that lingers over my head while I struggle with the loss of a steady paycheck and all of the benefits that come with corporate life.

I've been an avid reader of many blogs over the past several years, albiet a silent stalker. I've decided to "come out of the dark" to some, and will offer some linkylove soon to those that I have visited regularly. If in turn, those come to view my blog they will likely realize that as a true Gemini - my posts will vary greatly in content - from business woes, to having a teenager woes, to occasional political outbursts and I imagine some serious venting at some of the wrongs of the world. But they will also come away with the knowledge that no matter what happens, I am an eternal optimist. I know and believe with every fiber of my being that I can make a small difference in the lives of those around me. Whether it is winning battles with the school that my daughter attends, finding some semblance of good in the news of the day, creating a successful business or just finding peace in the everyday trials - I will succeed in fulfilling this new plan, and hopefully there are a few of you out there that can laugh at the pitfalls and applaud the win's as I move forward.

726 days - and at 40 I will have succeeded in the three things that I want most out of life for myself and my family - we will be healthy (there are several post's in that one), wealthy (no - not going for Bill Gates here, just would like to pay the electric bills before the shut off notices arrive in the mail), and wise. I don't think I'm asking too much of the universe for those three things....but know it will take a great deal on my part to achieve them all.

Wish me luck!